Collaborative Adolescence?

At my birthday dinner in downtown Boston, my 17-year old daughter surprised me at the end of the meal with, “So old man, what have you learned in half a century?”

Knowing that we had only one car and that I had the keys, I mused, “First, when I finished my residency, I was consumed about my career.  Now relationships matter to me a lot more than anything else.” Her eyes rolled as if to say, “Duh, what took you so long?”

“Second, I learned that I could work very hard at a job that I loved, but that I couldn’t expect the institution to love me back because it had its own priorities.” She looked at me blankly.

“Third, –it happens, and it’s nobody’s fault.” Her eyes lit up as if to say, “I can agree with that.”  It may have just been delight, however, to hear an adult swear in a tony restaurant.

“Finally, learning is never failure, even though it may feel like failure,” to which she replied, “You are so full of trite expressions!”

As we drove home, I thought that batting 0.250 was good enough for the major leagues, especially with a teenager.

Comedians quip that adolescence is one reason that some mammals eat their offspring at birth.

What can we learn from adolescents that relates to healthcare collaboration?

• does respect need to be earned with accountability rather than to be expected
• should we ask “so what” or “what’s in it for me” more often when thinking about how others will react to what we are saying
• what type of listening skills do we need to practice to make people feel that they have our full attention in the moment

Thanks.  I look forward to your input.

Posted in Learning

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